這下子
所有記憶都回來了...
揪著萎縮的心臟
我的回憶復活
那是一種沉溺
沉溺於已復活的回憶
也同時沉溺於別人的過去
這樣
能不能不算是太孤寂
星期三, 5月 16, 2012
星期三, 4月 04, 2012
星期日, 8月 21, 2011
星期五, 7月 08, 2011
星期日, 5月 15, 2011
星期二, 5月 03, 2011
Silent Lucidity
Silent Lucidity-Queen Adreena
Hush now, don't you cry,
wipe away the teardrop from your eye.
You're lying safe in bed,
it was all a bad dream spinning in your head.
Your mind tricked you to feel the pain,
Of someone close to you leaving the game (of life).
So here it is, another chance, wide awake you face the day.
The dream is over, or has it just begun....?
There's a place I like to hide,
A doorway that I run through in the night
Relax child, you were there
But only didn't realise that you were scared.
It's a place where you will learn
To face your fears
retrace the years
And ride the whims of your mind.
Commanding in another world
Suddenly you hear and see this magic new dimension
I........will be watching over you
I........am gonna help to see you through
I........will protect you in the night
I........am smiling next to you
In silent lucidity
Visualise your dream,
Record it in the present tense,
Put it into a permanent form,
If you persist in all efforts,
You can achieve a dream come true...
...a dream come true...
...a dream come true...
If you open your mind to me
you won't rely on open eyes to see.
The walls you built within
Come tumbling down; a new world will begin.
Living twice at once you learn
you're safe from pain in the dream domain
a soul set free to fly.
A round trip journey in your head
master of illusion, can you realise your dream's alive
You can be the guide
I........will be watching over you
I........am gonna help to see you through
I........will protect you in the night
I........am smiling next to you
星期一, 5月 02, 2011
Just
Never think of to be unforgetable
Kown myself is always small
Understand the truth behind the things you saw
Sometimes is not acceptable for the small people
Just...
even small
I'm afraid I'm just a passenger in this world
When people pass through by my life
no one will remember
Walk in the bright supermarket
I gazed the consumed face
And the loneliness in my hand
And the future no one want to pay the cost
Is there anyone could understand
What I'm waiting for
Is there anyone could see through
How empty my heart is
星期四, 3月 24, 2011
星期六, 2月 19, 2011
星期日, 1月 30, 2011
星期五, 1月 28, 2011
星期二, 1月 25, 2011
星期日, 1月 23, 2011
Fake Plastic Trees
Fake Plastic Trees-Radiohead
Her green plastic watering can
For her fake Chinese rubber plant
In the fake plastic earth
That she bought from a rubber man
In a town full of rubber plans
To get rid of itself
It wears her out, it wears her out
It wears her out, it wears her out
She lives with a broken man
A cracked polystyrene man
Who just crumbles and burns
He used to do surgery
For girls in the eighties
But gravity always wins
And it wears him out, it wears him out
It wears him out, it wears...
She looks like the real thing
She tastes like the real thing
My fake plastic love
But I can't help the feeling
I could blow through the ceiling
If I just turn and run
And it wears me out, it wears me out
It wears me out, it wears me out
If I could be who you wanted
If I could be who you wanted
All the time, all the time
星期六, 1月 22, 2011
星期三, 1月 19, 2011
Rabbit Heart
Rabbit Heart-Florence and The Machine
The looking glass so shiny and new
How quickly the glamor fades
I start spinning slipping out of time
Was that the wrong pill to take
You made a deal and now it seems you have to offer up
But will it ever be enough
It´s not enough
Here I am a rabbit hearted girl
Frozen in the headlights
It seems I´ve made the final sacrifice
We raise it up this offering
We raise it up
This is a gift it comes with a price
Who is the lamb and who is the knife
When Midas is king and he holds me so tight
And turns me to gold in the sunlight
I look around but I can´t find you
If only I could see your face
Instead of rushing towards the skyline
I wish that I could just be brave
I must become a lion hearted girl
Ready for a fight
Before I make the final sacrifice
We raise it up this offering
We raise it up
This is a gift it comes with a price
Who is the lamb and who is the knife
When Midas is king and he holds me so tight
And turns me to gold in the sunlight
Raise it up raise it up
And in the spring I shed my skin
And it blows away with the changing wind
The waters turn from blue to red
As towards the sky I offer it
This is a gift it comes with a price
Who is the lamb and who is the knife
Midas is king and he holds me so tight
And turns me to gold in the sunlight
This is a gift
星期二, 1月 18, 2011
星期一, 1月 17, 2011
星期日, 1月 16, 2011
有高有低
我在想，當在人生中你感到某部分攀升一點的時候，一定有某部分也正在下降一點，就像上升的氣球一樣，抵達某個高度的時候，一定會爆炸。今天清晨三點半醒來，像從前一樣睡不回去了，起身環顧四周，整個HOSTEL只有我一個人醒著。我猜想著應該是因為昨天沒有工作的關係吧，沒有很累很累得身體來拖著自己待在夢裡所以醒來。我突然想到以前睡不著的時候，曾和阿湯在西門町電影公園聊天到清晨五點、也曾和抓抓在公館聊天到清晨、或是自己一個人出門吃早餐，現在則只是能坐在電視機前面，看著布里斯本的災情報導。
似乎對於要去太遠的地方已經感到無力，很像也進不去太深的愛，只能在每一個事件上淺淺的擱著，專注力也很久都無法集中了，能力喪失了之後，就只能憑感覺了。所以好像需要一個誰，來讓自己傾吐出這些真心，讓好的感覺在夜裡能好好熟睡，經驗總是最好的依據，但一方面也擔心自己是否卑鄙。所以在每一次機會中怯步，微笑著揮揮手，將心裡可能轉化的愛放進給別人的祝福裡，希望所有忐忑著心想愛的人，都能得到他愛你，並且和你愛他一樣多。而我的工作，就是盡量不要太快否定自己，學著多多鼓勵。
星期三, 1月 12, 2011
星期二, 11月 23, 2010
安靜
有人問，「在同一個空間裡和身邊的人沒有說話，你會不會覺得尷尬？」很像一直都不覺得這是個需要尷尬的氛圍，倒是為了打破沉默所刻意談論的那些很客套的話可能還比較尷尬。像這樣一群人一起晚餐在同一個空間裡，即使心已經飄到窗外漸漸落下的太陽、看看床上是不是又被蟲子入侵，或把玩自己帶來的杯子也沒有不好吧。拿別人的八卦談論的興趣其實不怎麼有去，時下的話題也總會過去，最後大家都還是回到自己，自己的決定，決定留下還是離去，然後也帶不走甚麼，溫馨的晚餐會結束、歡笑聲也總要消失，天亮了宿醉也會漸漸清醒，曲終人散後的寂寞該負責的也是自己。
鏡子無法全然反映，所以偶爾跳脫、從遠方看自己，然後在默默的低頭想著一些，還能努力的事情。
星期日, 11月 21, 2010
星期四, 11月 18, 2010
I'm so wild
想念開始發酵，這樣陌生的味道。瀏覽你想著的那些我也正經歷的事、聽那些和我正在聽的歌，是因為我們的默契還是你對我想念了呢？不管是哪一種，似乎都是值得珍惜的正向的事。
這幾天不停下雨，鐵皮屋裡濕氣很重，鼻子也開始不爭氣，伴隨而來的低溫，被子太單薄，只好套上衛生衣和外套睡覺，幾天來的失眠，應該就是因為這些環境因素吧！輾轉難眠的時候，想想從沒離家過的自己，現在一個人流浪到澳洲；一直以來都害怕昆蟲、老鼠、蛇等等生物，現在卻住在距離牠們好近好近的地方，連自己都覺得自己陌生。
現在只能期許一切都好，櫻桃趕緊成熟，趕緊工作，畢竟這是現在最大的目標了。然後持續禱告，請守護愛我的人和我愛的人，平安喜樂。
星期五, 11月 12, 2010
Don't worry about a thing
Bob Marley開始成為每天的早餐音樂。期待他輕快的唱著every little thing gonna be all right，也感覺跟著帶走了夢境的沉重。
星期三, 11月 10, 2010
星期二, 11月 09, 2010
反覆覆反
是花椒還是香料帶來接連不斷的夢境，醒來的時間才五點，一身冷汗，枕頭是抱在懷裡的。四個夢境被牢記的好清晰，但即使我試著只選擇記下前面三個漂亮的，卻無法不被最後夢境中醜陋的臉覆蓋過去。好像也睡不回去了，乾脆起床，騎著腳踏車從carlton前往city，試著放空在早晨微涼的空氣裡，吹散那個可怕的夢境，欣賞經過的每一家咖啡店，背誦著每個紅燈時聽到的字，突然我想念起在台北騎車的日子，只是那些字不是以往所熟悉的語言了。
停在一家咖啡店前，點了一杯chai latte，在戶外的座位稍作休息，恩，這咖啡的味道很好，在墨爾本喝到的咖啡目前還沒讓我失望過，這大概可以成為我算喜愛這個城市的一個重要的原因之一吧。突然來了一男一女到咖啡店前，他們拿著一台DV CAM在街上擷取，他們討論得很起勁，一起研究畫面內需要的元素，這似曾相似的場景帶我想起了去年夏天和他一起為MV蒐集元素的時光，那時候跟他還不熟，但現在熟了卻各自解散了，他選擇待在晦暗的世界，我則選擇出走，帶著一肚子無法吐出的感受，也無從消化，站在這熟悉的場景面前，心裡灰灰酸酸的，但天氣卻諷刺的好，有陽光也有風，溫暖卻不熱，騎腳踏車的時候一件Tshirt搭薄外套剛剛好。
在這樣放鬆和緊繃、愜意和失落之間，心裡握著的是一個自己還能清楚明白的喜歡，只可惜還沒清楚該往哪個方向，甚至好像總是越來越模糊。另一方面，覺得也許像現在這樣安排好放空的日子，會為未來帶來甚麼重要的意義也說不定。
但在這樣漂亮的期許和安慰後，腦中浮現的又是最後夢境裡那個醜陋的臉。
星期一, 11月 08, 2010
紀念的重量
帶著值得懷念的紀念在身邊，似乎是一種懦弱的表現，對我來說。今天打算洗衣服所以也順便整理了一下行李，我瀏覽了那些文字、摸摸那些紀念品，突然覺得好像沒有一個是想留下的，安慰自己至少真正珍惜過，只是時間過了之後想留下的都改變了而已。也或許只是因為已經不想擁有，那些可能擁有的關係。每次想到這裡就會覺得呼吸困難。
我將某一部分存放在爸媽的口袋，一部分則遺留在那個房間，要說自己現在有多少重量，我想，可能很輕很輕很輕吧！所以我才能那麼輕易的出走流浪，只是，似乎仍必須不斷提醒自己到這裡的目的。如果說不斷夢見你，就能感覺你活著；那麼不斷用虛構的原因壓住內心的擺動，應該也能逐漸成為現實吧，至少這是僅存我還相信的，也是其中一個引導著我的正向期許。
我很想你，也很想你們。
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